A Poly Bio
Bio for a UK poly woman
Posted by The UK Poly Pal on Feb 24, 2024
I'm a Mum, a marketer and a woman in her 40's living in a UK town. I'm also polyamorous.
Which means what exactly?
The Oxford English Dictionary says it is, 'the practice of engaging in more than one intimate relationship at a time with the consent of all involved.' The emphasis is on relationship. Poly meaning 'many' and amory meaning 'loves'. It gets really confused as people think it's just about having a lot of sex. If you were in a relationship and just looking for sex with others (together or apart) - you'd be more likely to call that opening the marriage or swinging.
Polyamory is to do with establishing connection - be that short term or longer term. There needs to be a meeting of the minds beyond physical attraction. I'm wired for connecton and polyamory is part of my wiring. It doesn't mean I've got a higher sex drive that the next person or crave sex more. I find hook ups and one night stands a pretty empty experience. I'm looking for something that has more going on.
I want to find my pals - men I am deeply attracted to, feel respected by, have a good bloody laugh with and can't wait to get naked with. I like to physically express how I feel about someone - which is why I struggle to do it from a standing start. I can't express something that hasn't got any edges yet.
However, it also means I don't want to be in a monogomous relationship. Because I'll always want the freedom to explore a connection when that someone crosses my path. Life is too short not to. And I find, if I have very close male friends, they tend to become more.
Right now, I have a poly pal. I'm deeply connected with him & see him often but he isn't my primary* and I'm not his.
So, there's potentially a bit of a blank space as Taylor would say. I don't even know if it really needs filling or not. He brings a LOT. And is super hot with it. And it's not like I've got a ton of time with single parenting and working. Managing all of the things we manage at this life stage.
So I'm in a period of slow exploration. Wondering if dating serves me right now. Working out how to explain my identity in this space. Putting myself out into the world and seeing what happens.
So let's see.
Side note
*'Primary' is poly language for 'main partner' or 'life partner'. So your husband/ wife/ boyfriend/ girlfriend would be your primary and any other connections or relationships you have in addition, would be your 'poly pals'.
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